Car Wash

I was driving home from work last night and I stopped at a stop light right next to a large semi filled with cattle. I was in the lane right next to them and so I looked over to see what was in there--I saw little cow noses sticking out of the metal grating and thought, "oh, how cute! Real cows!" Then, out of the corner of my eye, something starting pouring out of the side of the truck--olive green, runny. . . the stupid cow was pooing right in the street. I sort of laughed at how gross it was until I noticed that it was ricocheting off of the asphalt, right onto my window. My expression changed from laughing to horror.

I got out of the car at Smiths a few minutes later and inspected the side of my car. Sure enough, it was covered in green cow diarrhea. I think I'm going to use my pregnancy card when we have to wash the car. "No, Ben, you'd better do it, I might throw up. . . "