Help me.
For the last month I've been getting up about 5-7 times a night. Eva wakes up like every 2 hours and only goes back to sleep when I nurse her (which is probably why her thighs and Clark's are the same size). Clark gets up about once a night and screams, then when I go in to rock him and try to lay him down again in his bed, he bolts right up and screams more. He ends up back in his crib most nights, screaming it out. He does this regardless of naps or no naps the day before, food right before bed or not, cold house or warm, TV that day or not. He doesn't want to eat, go potty, have me lay down by him, have a drink or any other option I give him. I think he seriously wants me to hold him in the rocking chair all night!?
I am slowly loosing my sanity and any charity that I held toward my children is being slowly repressed by resentment that I can't even get three hours of sleep in a row.
Help. What do I do? Will letting them both scream it out at once even work? Will they just fuel each other's tears? (They are sharing a room).
I can't take it any more.
13 comments:
Whenever I start to feel like you I re-read "Babywise" and "Toddler-wise." I will never be as hard core as the authors suggest, but it gives me the courage to push my kids a little harder towards routine, and literally everyone is happier with the results. Good luck!
Jan, I seriously wish I was there right now so I could take your kids for you so you could have a nap. I'm so sorry. I really know how your feeling, and it's not good. Mom's can't function on such little sleep and then go through the day like normal. So hard! If Eva is the cause of waking him up in the first place, you might try putting her somewhere else in the house in a port-a-crib for a while. We had to do that with Katelin when she woke up Kaiya every night, because then Kaiya would be a nightmare when she got woken up! It did help so Kaiya could sleep. I hope they get sleeping soon for all of your sakes! Miss you!!!
hey jan, so this is my biggest worry right now about the upcoming baby. Linc still is waking up anywhere from 1-4 times in the night. For awhile I just gave him milk when he woke up because he would go right back to sleep. Then he started waking up more, and I realized, that was my problem! I got him thinking the only way to fall back asleep was with milk. I pretty much had to wein him all over again. With him as a baby, it was at 6 months that the doctor told me to stop nursing through the night. He said "Check on them, give them a kiss, maybe some ibuprofen if they are teething, then go back to bed." It took a week, and he started sleeping better.
I got myself some headphones for the first three nights of tying to get Linc to sleep without the cup, he screamed for the longest time, but it helped to drown out the noise, by the fourth night he was sleeping longer. He still wakes up, but i won't give him the cup now and he generally goes back to sleep after ten minutes of crying. I am hoping as he continues to realize he's not going to get anything that he will just go back to sleep. Really, just get through a few weeks of hell, and it will pay off. Oh yes, and maybe separate the two during that time. good luck, I really hope it starts to work out better for you, sleep is good.
Jan, I am so sorry. I don't know what to tell you. If I come up with any ideas I'll let you know. There's a blog I like to read called "The Chronicles of a Babywise Mom." It's pretty cool. Don't know how this woman seems to know so much but she does. She's got TONS of info from babywise to other books and if you ever have a question for her she'll comment right back and answer them. If you go to my blog it's under "Church Friends--Babywise Mom" (I don't know her but she just so happens to be a member of the church).
Might as well give the screaming it out a try. It might work. Eva should sleep longer than that. It's probably just habit. They just love you so much that they want you to be with them all night too. It should be flattering to you. (ha)
They are NOT ready to share a room! Matthew and Olivia would do this, and 1 week of no sleep was enough for me! Quickly remove the smallest child out of that room and put her in your room. Let the oldest child cry it out! until he is sleeping thru the night on his own for about a month. Introduce the smallest child into the oldest child room every night after he is sound asleep. So, even if the smallest child starts to wake up, the oldest will still remain asleep. Eva is also probably going thru a growth spurt so patience with her. I totally feel you! and to be honest the sleeping soundly with both kids in the same room didn't happen until Olivia was close to 1. So, it will probably take you a couple of months to get it right. Good luck!
So sorry, Jan! I feel your pain. I too am a fan of "Babywise," especially with our twins. I also am a fan of just letting them cry it out. Both Katelyn and Natalie are in the same room right now - so crying it out is a little difficult. One stops crying just as the other one starts....not so fun :) My pediatrician always gave this advice, "reinforce the behaviors you like." If you reward kids for waking up at night by feeding them, or rocking them, they will start to expect that...
When Lizzy was little she woke up every night, until I just let her scream for I think about four nights in a row. It was a rough few days for me, but ever since then, she has been a great sleeper. Good luck, Jan. All of us mothers have been there before and we feel your pain!
Jan, I'm so sorry. I don't know how to help but I'm scared because we're having our second baby in August. I like the GibbonsFam idea. All I can give you is sympathy. I know that sucks.
Sometimes it is so hard to know what is best for each of our kids! When I finally let Linc cry it out, I just did it for the first wakeup for two nights. Then on his own, the other feedings lessened.
And we need to get together more! I have more patience if I can have a little distraction or break during the day. Our sleep needs aren't being met, so we need to make sure our emotional and spiritual needs are:)
If you can get Eva to take a bottle I really would take her for the night.
I'm not sure how I would handle things with 2 kids, but we had a rough 2 months with Clara when both her ears were infected. By the end, I was desperate to try anything. I read "Babywise" and "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" and found good advice in both. After two months of being up all night and holding a screaming baby all day, it wasn't hard for me to listen to Clara "cry it out" in her crib. It was nicer than having her cry right in my face. It only took 3 days to "train" her to sleep. After that she was sleeping 12 hours a night and taking 3 naps a day and was SOOO much happier. It was a miracle. Good luck with your little ones! When you figure things out, let me know what worked for you. I'll be in the same boat with number 2 in a few months I'm sure.
It sounds like you have gotten lots of good suggestions, I'm just thankful that all my kids slept through the night, never fought, and awoke with smiles on their faces. Amazing what a few years and a mediocore memory can do.
You poor thing! There is nothing worse than feeling frustrated with your children! I love Baby Wise but maybe you have already tried all those techniques. Good luck!
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